Crystal Castles

Today... Ambra aka italian neighbour forever went to look for cheryl goh in school HA HA HA HA HA HA CHERYL GOH U ARE EPIC FAILURE

A thing for me

When there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.

Pangea

Ok so its the time of the year where I start getting bombarded with a series of unfortunate events- mainly weird nightmares. Just this morning I woke up in cold sweat (shockingly) on the floor not knowing why. Only just a few minutes ago while watching TV i suddenly remembered the weird dream I had. So I dreamt I was Jane living in a tree house with Tarzan with 5 gorilla babies. And for some weird reason, the Tarzan in my dream was not my idea of a hot guy, it was my father. And the worst thing was the fact that we bore not 1 but 5 gorilla babies. Please imagine hairy gorillas as my offspring. Strangely Serangoon Gardens was literally this huge garden, and everyone lived in tree houses. All of a sudden there was this sudden movement a tremor of the earth or something and everything started shaking violently and the hair on my baby gorillas starting dropping off like they were balding rather badly. Then I woke up and found myself on the floor. I hope part two of the dream comes today. Till then i'm going to spend whats left of my day watching Tarzan, or playing the tarzan rubberband game with my sister.

Post blue

Fat and flat, how?

Safe as houses

Its like a sharp pain that slowly cuts you, millimeter by millimeter, second by second, and as time passes only then would you know how much it hurts, how much you've moved from the start, how much you've inflicted, how much time can't heal. Its like breathing without air, its like choking on something thats not there. Its not the fact that you aren't given a chance, its the bare truth that they've given up, and thats what hurts. Not anything else. Because of that, you search for someone to confide in, someone who understands, but then only after a long while you start to realise you were just lonely, and you were looking for it in all the wrong places. You want to get out, but you can't. You're just stuck there. You won't budge not because you can't, not because you don't want to, its because you're becoming comfortable being that way, as much as you know the things they say aren't true, the more they say it the more it gets into your head. As much as you want to prove them wrong, you know you can't. No determination, even hope is void. The funny thing is, people think your life's perfect, but really its all so superficial and only you know that because feelings are yours and yours alone, yours to keep, yours to own. To conquer or not- your choice.

For Grace and Jolie

F21 Hippie Sneakers
Tagged 7
10" insoles
$25 Brand New

Brown Oxfords
$53
Brand New

Instax 200
$100
Perfect condition comes with box and warranty
Sold

comment or contact s_t_e_p_h_a_n_i_e_t_a_n@live.com thx

Title and Registration

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade, and now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all. And here i rest where disappointment and regret collide, lying awake at night.

Thanks to adam, I can't shit. I've been trying to shit for so long now and I can't. I think i held back for too many days. ALL YOUR FAULT

To a dear friend:

Even though I may not fully understand whats going on in your life right now, or whats running through your mind, or what difficulties and trouble you may be facing, I just want you to know that i'm here for you no matter what and there is so much more value and worth to life, after all we've only had a short-lived 15 years on this Earth. We all love you for who you are i'm so sorry i've been so oblivious to whatever you've been facing but we will face it together ok! Love you don't do anything funny anymore cause if theres anything you should know, you have me.

Last night at 12 I felt immense

There will always be a point in your life where you start realising that you've been realising a lot of things all at one point. You think you've matured both in mind and in spirit. But thats when you're wrong. You start realising that puberty is all but a passing phase, and the real problem lies within yourself. You start realising that the people around you aren't screwing you up, but you're screwing up yourself. Then we all start getting depressed, we start with the cutting, then we start with the pills, then when we can't take it anymore we threaten ourselves, matter over mind, with the knives. Because then, pain isn't the worst thing. At least you know you're not just a shadow, darkening someones wall, a silhouette thrust haphazardly into their lives. Don't you hate this feeling: like you're here, but you're not. Like someone cares, but they don't. Like you belong somewhere else but here. Memory is a tenous thing don't you think? Like a camera with a failing lens, sometimes your focus is so sharp it hurts you. Other times, it gets so vague, so blur, you'd wish you could remember more. Sometimes they don't know how it feels, because they've never felt warmth, acceptance or love before. But those who've felt it before, but lost it, you want it back. Then it strikes you, that nothing will ever be the same again.

Updated

Getaway car

SORRY I LIKE TO PLAY WITH MY SMILEY STUD

I think my project save up for a nikon isn't working... because I spent $17 today. Which I've already subtracted from the amount I earned from selling stuff. Wow. But the houndstooth skirt was a good deal. I'll let the pictures talk for now, because I'm lazy. Go check out the other girls blogs ^^ I'm gonna update the selling blog soon keep safe babyz

PSPSPSPSPS BTWBTW We will be participating in the upcoming flea on the 11th of April @ Mount Sophia!! Do support us! More details next time ^^

Cody

Hi please support Danielle big tits and I over @ our other blog where we will be selling our shizzle fo real and other random stuff. Danielle smarty pants came up w the url i have no idea why. -Smirks- Anyway, i'm up at 2 in the morning and Cody by Mogwai's on repeat on the playlist, go listen.

Stay Golden

And this one's for little Cassy

So... my holidays have practically been spent around the house and in school. I've been spending the last hour playing games on y8.com and I've just made a great observation: People who've been playing L4D can go suck my hairy balls because (twisted) cooking mama is the new sex!

Everybody but me

Once upon a time you thought you could face everything with someone, with people you could trust, with people you could do anything with. As time passes, it'd slowly and painfully occur to you that the depressing hard fact of life is that in the end, you'd have to face everything all by yourself, all alone. Have you ever cried by yourself at night, not knowing why?

Mistaken for strangers

Why am I so fat, I need thinspiration right now. I cannot believe I ate 3 meals today. I cannot believe this. Why am I 40kg. Why is my BMI 16.4. Why can't I be skinny. Why can't I be pretty. Why can't I lose weight. Stop eating, stop eating. Tonight the elephant's going to exercise on my exercise bicycle for 2 hours non stop, wish me luck. Either that or whoo gagging non-stop. I WANT TO BE 35KG RIGHT NOW. WORK IT.

OK

Paranoid Android

You don't buy "cool" cameras then like photography, you like photography first then buy the cameras with much consideration. You don't buy cameras then decide how to take pictures. You learn how to take pictures then buy the camera. You don't get piercings just because everyone else is, you get piercings because they're a form of self expression. You don't succumb yourselves to what everyone else thinks is in. You don't buy clothes just because everyone else is wearing them, you buy clothes because you want to be yourself. You don't listen to bands just because you think people that listen to those genres are cool. You don't listen to underground just because others hate mainstream. You won't gain popularity by listening to those bands, in actual fact, people label these kind of people posers. What in the world is wrong with people today? They want to be like individuals so badly that now individuality is becoming a social norm.

On a lighter note, today me dani and zheyan went to vivo and i was singing random songs on my ipod. I went home with my happiness filled half a cup. No its not half empty no more. Love you D.

Flesh and Bones

Ok i know i said "expect pictures", but I did not expect myself to look so hideous today. Ok, so... met the girlies at downtown east, and I OVERDRESSED, i totally forgot we were supposed to wear casual clothes and I wore... un-casual clothes. So Tatjna kindly lent me her shirt to wear and yay escape we went! I am still extremely shocked I can pass off as a child under 12, where tatjna and I paid $5 to get in while the rest paid $18 HAHAHAHA, oh well blame puberty my friends. Ironically, tat and i are older than the rest apart from claudia. Wow. Sweet mother of jesus my face is like shrek today and my arms are the freaking size of dumbbells, ok hxc work out time!!

Okay, so... I find it kinda annoying sometimes that when I lj hop or blog hop or whatever I see some extremely familliar looking stuff. Not gonna elaborate, ha ha haaaa. Catz

Weekend Wars

So its the last day of Term 1, i'm definitely not looking forward to the rest of the year. Ok... so during the holidays I'm going to do my reading and read Child C, A Child Called It, and Post Mortem. Ok god forbid the sadistic titles but oh well abuse stories rape cases ha ha haaaa, intriguing much. Tomorrow we are going downtown I am bringing my guitar to jang jang and be weird. Expect pictures.

Sometimes I think life is just a waste of dying. Because it just suddenly occurred to me that you live, just to die in the end. Now I don't even know if heaven and hell really exists, i'm totally skeptical. Theres always a point in time where we start questioning ourselves what the hell are we even doing here on earth. We could have been a stream of unconsciousness, some weird ball of nothingness, totally non existant. And it also only occurred to me that Jesus lived only 2000 years ago. Somehow it was drilled into my brain that he roamed the earth billions of years ago with the dinosaurs. Ok call me slow or ignorant, i also just found out that ah meng is actually a girl. And in actual fact our dearly beloved ah meng has already passed away. Oh god how am I going to pass my GP next time??

Okokokokok I owe people money plz support selling post below luv u all!!1

Me

You like it? Still wanna be my friend??

Grapevine Fires

They don't call it a fisheye for nothing.

It's a fight between my heart and mind, no one really wins this time. In the endless fight of grace and pride, I don't want to win this time.

If you don't find the love you want,

If I have acted ungracefully

I don't want to see you go

I never meant to make you want to leave

i've held back a wealth of shit but i think i'm gonna choke, i'm standing in the shadows with the words stuck in my throat and i'm frustrated with myself, but i can't change, don't want to be me anymore, and all the ticks and tocks and clicks of clocks that tell the time tell me this is just a phase.