pretty flower ugly roots

I come to a worrying realisation as I sit and wonder.
I cannot feel anything, but the cold wind blowing around me and the ache in my weary legs.
The hurt and pain and the burden that is normally present in my heart is gone, or rather, not noticeable anymore.
I’m scared.
I hold tears in my eyes and I keep trying to figure out why but I cannot fathom a single reason why they are present. I do not feel particularly upset or devastated or stressed. I merely feel exhausted yet there are tears of sadness on the edge of my eyes.
Am I becoming numb?