pretty flower ugly roots

Typing this post on my phone because my Internet is down. But it just shows how much I want to write. I honestly miss expressing my feelings here. Is it even weird that I miss being sad?

I was (and still am) listening to after the storm by Mumford and sons. Yes i am currently feeling like shit. I have come to the point where I don't know whether I've ever even felt.... love? I would consider my past relationships to be more of strong feelings for someone. But love..I don't really think so. I've never felt like I've needed someone so badly I could die, I've never felt like I've loved someone so hard I couldn't breathe. Which is really the saddest part. I'm sad that I don't feel. I know I'm still young but I just wish I could feel something new. It has been 8 months of solitude (okay I wouldn't really consider it solitude because that sounds depressing and really I'm quite enjoying myself) but I can't bring myself to care for anyone. It's not that I don't want to, I really wish I could. I just can't find anyone/ no one wants to find me.

I haven't had a good conversation with anyone in months. I wish I could do that again. I want to share my favourite songs and singers and poets with someone.

I wish I had a companion