goals

people always ask me what i want to be when i grow up

honestly i never knew what to answer. when i was younger i wanted to be a doctor, now that i'm older i just think that i want to be a dentist. But honestly, i only want to do that for the money

but i don't want to do something just for the money. Life is not always about money. Life is about happiness, whether i'm happy doing something that i love, whether i love showing up at work or not. Money is only paper. I think its so sad when people ask you "why are you studying so hard?" and the reply is "to make a lot of money when i grow up" the correct answer should be "so that i can pursue my dreams"

And then i had an epiphany a few days ago.

I want to help people when i grow up. Like, not help minimally.....but help as much as i can. I get so sad and teary eyed when i read about the black bears in china...about the widening income gaps..about unfortunate children in cambodia and i really wanna extend this huge ass hug to all of them. I get very emotional when i read about people and animals that don't live in the comfort i am currently living in. Who am I to turn away from these people who need help. I want to go on mission trips. I want to help build schools in undeveloped countries. I want to raise funds for these people and help them.

Honestly, even if i don't make a lot, at least i know i'm happy. Just thinking of the smiles on these peoples faces will just warm my heart.

I never knew the extent of poverty till a few of my friends went to cambodia this year to help teach at an orphanage. I am so proud of them (even though i'm only close to one of them lol) because their trip was not school based at all. They went out of their own will. So my friend came back, and told me about their trip.

The children there have blonde hair because they're all malnourished and do not have enough food. Some of their parents try putting them in school. The school will provide them with one exercise book and one pencil. Which will last them their lifetimes.....once these kids use up the exercise book they will erase it and re use it. Some of these kids quit school because their parents can't afford to pay for another pencil. When i heard this my heart just ached. I felt so selfish and spoiled because here i am living in such comfort and i don't see how blessed i am to be here.

And then i hear about animal cruelty. About how the bears are treated. How they torture these animals for their bile. I want to save them. I want to do something to help. But I am small....i can't do anything significant enough to help

So i guess i have to just make a lot of money (lol the irony of it all) to use it to help others.


thoughts at 1.30 am with school the next day
such is life