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    Tuesday, September 8, 2009

    series of unfortunate events

    I am heartbroken.

    1) I lost my purple flower rubberband as seen in this picture
    2) I woke up feeling like hell
    3) I woke up with random cuts and bruises on my body (which is kinda freaky but quite cool at the same time)
    4) I feel like puking all the time but I can't because I hate puking now and even though I used to like puking I don't anymore because it is wrong. (Bad, bad habit)

    Photobucket

    I lost my fucking purple flower rubberband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I only just found it in my cupboard yesterday because I remembered that I used to be an avid reader of Sabrina's Secrets and I actually subscribed to the magazine and I collected every fucking thing they gave and they gave this purple flower rubberband and I loved it so much but I lost it but I found it again (yesterday) but it doesn't even matter anymore because the happiness only lasted for a day (less than a day) because I lost my fucking purple flower rubberband in the fucking park!!!! I actually went by myself to scour for my loot just now but I couldn't find it. Some fucker must have taken my rubberband!!!! I hereby curse the mafaker with herpes!!!!!! And if its a guy, i hope that his balls wither and drop off!!!! Or maybe a fucking bird took it and flew away with it. I curse the bird with fucking anal warts!!!!!!!

    And I am so fucking sad now because you can't buy the rubberband anywhere and even if I wanted to I can't because Sabrina's Secrets was so fucking 2005 and its already 2009 and I can't find anyone selling the magazine anywhere because the place where I used to buy the magazine's already closed down because the fucking Serangoon Gardens Minister or whatever cock his name is fucking decided to rebuild the whole of the building (WHICH IS NOT ALLOWED) and I can't find my fucking rubberband anymore!! I am utterly devastated. I AM A DEPRESSED CHILD

    I WANT MY PURPLE FLOWER RUBBERBAND RIGHT NOW. It was like fucking limited edition (if you get what i mean) Furthermore IT REMINDED ME OF MY CHILDHOOD. MY FUCKING CHILDHOOD!!!!!! Omg woe be to the fucker that stole my rubber band!!!!!!! AND ITS SO HARD TO FIND A RUBBERBAND WITH A FUCKING PURPLE FLOWER ON IT. IT EVEN HAD LIKE GREEN LEAVES (SOMEWHAT) AND WAS FUCKING CHIO. Omg its alr so hard to find a purple flower hairband/headband BUT THIS WAS A RUBBERBAND. And I fucking lost it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Am going to go into silent depression now.

    rubberbandrubberbandrubberbandrubberbandrubberbandrubberbandrubber-

    Edit

    I am so annoyed right now because I lost my purple flower rubberband that I am going to complain even more!!

    I am so annoyed with my body because

    1) I am fat
    2) I am fucking fair
    3) I am short

    Let me elaborate

    1) Ok if you don't remember how I used to look like, this was how I used to look like- A fucking fat ugly toad!!!!!!!!!!!

    Photobucket

    Thats right. A fucking ugly toad with absolutely no fucking sense of style. WHO THE FUCK WEARS TURTLENECKS IN SINGAPORE?? THE BEST THING WAS. I DIDN'T EVEN LOSE ANY WEIGHT. Believe it or not I DIDN'T. And I feel so fucking inferior all the time because I am so fat and ugly and all my friends are so fucking thin and pretty!!!!!! I remember how I used to have an inferiority complex because in primary school, my classmates fucking named me BEACHBALL. MY LEGS ARE LIKE THE SIZE OF FUCKING TREE TRUNKS. AND MY ARMS WOBBLE LIKE JELLY WHEN I SHAKE THEM. I want to see my bones sooooooo fucken badly but I CAN'T SEE NOTHING AT ALL.

    2) I am sooooooo fucking fair. I look like a piece of tofu. No tofu sounds like a fucking nice term for fair people. I look like a BOILED CHICKEN. I AM SO FAIR AND I HATE IT. I NEED A TAN. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?? I DON'T TAN, I BURN!!!!!!! AND AFTER I BURN, I TURN RED. BUT AFTER THE RED PERIOD, I TURN WHITE AGAIN

    3) I AM SO SHORT. NOT THAT I CAN HELP IT. I WANT TO GROW. I WANT TO GROW.

    RIGHT NOW I'M SO ANNOYED BUT THE ONLY THING THAT WILL HELP CEASE MY ANNOYEDNESS WOULD BE MY FUCKING PURPLE FLOWER RUBBERBAND. BUT I CAN'T FIND IT. AND ITS FUCKING DRIVING ME INSANE

    18 comments:

    Jezrika said...

    I remember how I used to have an inferiority complex because in primary school, my classmates fucking named me BEACHBALL. MY LEGS ARE LIKE THE SIZE OF FUCKING TREE TRUNKS. AND MY ARMS WOBBLE LIKE JELLY WHEN I SHAKE THEM

    I look like a BOILED CHICKEN.

    I WANT TO GROW.

    BECAUSE OF A PURPLE FLOWER RUBBERBAND HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Anonymous said...

    SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS THAT BOOK? ROFL.

    Wailing said...

    And I feel so fucking inferior all the time because I am so fat and ugly and all my friends are so fucking thin and pretty!!!!!!

    I strictly forbid you to say this. Srsly. I will beat you if you say this again. Cos you are one of us and no you are not fat or ugly and i love you the way you are.

    Hanna said...

    you're so cute!!! HAHAHAHAHA

    i think my elder sister has a flower rubberband as well. oooh

    Megan said...

    AHAHAAHA C'MON CHIN UP DARLING :D

    Anonymous said...

    Hi steph
    Alot of people say you are the prettiest among your friends already :)
    Firstly being fair is chio what, being tan is sexy, maybe? But being fair is so much cooler and not everyone can have fair skin y'know. You are not fat, it's not very pretty to be stick thin. I think being with a little fats is okay. It's all a part of growing up, when you grow up, it'll be gone. And u look cute with your baby fats on ur face. People who have fats compared to people with have no fats, people who have fats live longer. It is proven in surveys. Ur height is okay! Cos japaneses girls avg height is only 153! And u look cute with ur height, petite and all. It makes u look cute. Yes tall is beautiful but being short is not that bad.
    Shorter people live longer(again) HAHAHA. And u really look good enough. Short people look cute and stand out among tall people. Also during sex, long legs are an interference. U don't have to feel inferior at all!! People are jealous of your looks, steph. We should be happy what God gave us, what's more u look perfectly ok! Chillax pretty one :) parting is a part of life. We have to part with people, we have to accept it. Even people with have to part with, what worth is a rubber band? Take it easy. Yes it maybe fucking wasted but u may gain something after ur loss? Or maybe there will be a blessing in disguise. Like u may find some other chio things upon searching for it. Haha I know how u feel when u go fucking pissed searching for smth but to no avail. If it's in the park then too bad, maybe someone took it already. But no point being angry over things you cannot change. The hairband is lost alr. So all u can do is to get a new one. I believe there are also other things that carry childhood memories? Treasure them more. maybe ur baby photos, perhaps? Life is too short for regrets, ur life doesn't stop here just bcos of a purple rubberband. Ur other ribbon hairbands look gr8 too! Take care steph :)

    Anonymous said...

    Previous comment WTH?

    Yongzhen said...

    I have a purple flower rubberband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    dorothy said...

    WTF LOL at the sex inteference thing.
    You arent fat stephanie srsly

    Anonymous said...

    The long legs thing, I think there's a post on that on xiaxue blog under height issues

    Tatjna said...

    STEPH YOUR RUBBERBAND IS WITH JERALD(IF IM NOT WRONG)HAHAHAHA

    Anonymous said...

    You're seriously very pretty. And i like fair skin, like milk!hahaha. dont demoralise urslef girl.

    Anonymous said...

    lol at the ultra long comment that anonymous gave.

    and steph you are so cute and funny. this blog entry really made me l-o-l. and i disagree with how you critisize yourself! you are pretty and cute, really.

    Anonymous said...

    i think you've awesome legs!

    Anonymous said...

    You are beautiful inside and out.

    Stephanie said...

    jez: jezrika!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

    anon: ya haha ive never read it to be honest HAHA

    wai: I LOVE U WAILING but it is true u ARE pretty and thin

    hanna: FLOWER RUBBERBANDS FOREVER

    anon: omg thanks!!!!! i thought the sex thing was kinda funny though but still thank u anyway!!!! :D

    yongzhen: DID U GET IT FROM SABRINAS SECRETS??

    tatjna: I JUST FOUND OUT ALSO SO I POSTED ONE WHOLE ANGSTY POST FOR NOTHING!!!!!!

    anon: thank you :)

    anon: thank you so much :)

    anon: haha really?!?! BUT THEY LOOK LIKE TREE TRUNKS :'( but thank you anyway!!

    anon: thank you :) :)

    Anonymous said...

    LOL anonymouses have split personalities.

    Anonymous said...

    i think you are gorgeous.. FHM material. 5 stars. 10/10. u r the sauce i crave!! i would eat you if i could