pretty flower ugly roots

2012-01-30T00:28:00.000+08:00

pix im tagged in on fb...
well ive neglected you modernism101

2012-01-26T21:52:00.000+08:00

YO GUYS i'll upload some cny pix on my phone during the weekend!!
sorry for the apparent lack of updates i'm so busy!!!!!!

anyway i've updated my selling post once again ;)
spend your angpao and help me clear ma stuff plzzzz

http://modernism101.livejournal.com/60969.html#cutid1

the new stuff got no discount sorry friends!!!

X

2012-01-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

Hi guys I promised a selling post.. but i havent uploaded the pix i took of the stuff i wanna sell cuz i really really REALLY need to get rid of my other stuff!!!

i put some of my old stuff up on sgflea LOL

http://modernism101.livejournal.com/60969.html#cutid1

but since you guys are my readers...
take $2 off all the prices of tops
$1 off dresses, shorts and rompers and cardigans
and $3 off shoes

PLEASE HELP ME CLEAR GUYS :( MY ROOM IS A MESS SO I GOTTA START SOMEWHERE :(

2012-01-17T11:07:00.002+08:00

graciously accept criticism
for graciousness is a weapon far sharper than any blade,
and stings more than any wound

for the person that wanted to see my handwriting
i grabbed the nearest sheet of paper with writing on it
that's my arenes tutorial and i was scribbling hahaha it usually looks slightly better HAHA

2012-01-15T21:50:00.000+08:00

hey guys! sorry for the lack of updates, i've been so busy with school

i'm going to be updating my selling post here sometime this week so you could follow me on twitter to get the latest updates :)

does anyone know of upcoming fleas? I really need to get rid of my clothes :(

off to do some differential equations and probability now

gotta go!

Randoms in my phone

2012-01-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

2012-01-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

Testing testing mobile blogging testing
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2012-01-08T12:53:00.000+08:00

decided to get a new phone 2 days ago..

and i was pretty damn set on the iphone 4, or 4S. But i told my dad i didn't really need the "S" because i probably wouldn't use it and its just a waste of money. I just wanted instagram lol

so there were a lot of complications- i was using my dad's contract thing cuz his was ready for recontract and all that. And i had to get an iphone plan or something but it was his number so i couldn't do that blablablabla

and i was still pretty damn set on getting the iphone 4

but then i saw this brochure of the new blackberry torch 9860

it really caught my eye. i've never seen a fully touch screen blackberry before

so i decided to get it

it still provides all blackberry functions, bbm and stuff

but i do miss the qwerty keypad though

but i guess it still looks quite sleek and classy hahhaaha

the camera isnt too bad either

oh one thing i love about blackberry is that they have AMAZING sample music HAHA

the sample song on my phone was by minus the bear

IMPRESSED

2012-01-06T13:41:00.001+08:00

You will never lose me to the wind
You are the lightning that made me fill my chest with candles
You are the thunder clapping for the poem that nobody else wants to hear
You are an icicle’s tear watering a tulip on the first day of spring
You melt me alive
You kiss me as deep as my roots will reach
And I want nothing more than to be an eyelash fallen on your cheek
Then being collected by your fingers
And held like a wish
I promise
That whatever I do
I will always try my best
To come true

2012-01-01T20:12:00.001+08:00

when someone mentions "its a new year", the first thought to your mind would be a fresh start.
you'd want to end the previous one on a good note, and start the next with a good note as well.

however

as the years go by
you will start to realise that years change, and so do the people
and it hits you that something that used to be significant and exciting, like the birth of a whole new year just crumbles down to "just another day", or just another excuse for you to stay out late

i'm not going to do a reflective post, or reminiscence over the year that was just 20 hours ago, because i'd rather not look back and see myself to be someone better then, or see people and realise how different they've become, or realise that sometimes drifting far away doesn't have the same effect like that of a spring (where you stretch it far and elasticity just forces it to bounce back closer)

drifting far away [like clouds] would just mean you either
1) go somewhere else
2) dissipate

so this time, i'm not looking back at the year that just flew by
i'm looking forward

so
here's to family
here's to the friends that will stick by you
here's to new beginnings
here's to the kicking of bad habits
here's to love
here's to hope and the prospect of a brighter future

to 2012
may you not disappoint

YOUTUBE

2011-12-30T02:48:00.000+08:00

uploaded a couple of videos on my youtube channel!
you could subscribe to me or something :)

omg i realised that my editting is really very bad and i couldve done a better job with the answering questions thing.....
sorry guys! i'll do it better next time heh

i also unprivated my cover of boats and birds... so i guess you guys could check it out again :)

ps i'm trying my best to update more often!!

2011-12-29T14:17:00.000+08:00

dressed up early at 2pm
barefaced
wearing a thrifted daniel yam looking like i'm about to start working

currently reading: the boy in the striped pajamas

i'd say its quite a good read, considering the fact that i've never watched the movie
i stupidly spoiled the ending for myself though, i have this disgusting and immutable habit of flipping to the last chapter and reading it

should start on my holiday assignments..........
waiting for walter to wake up so we can study

everyday life

2011-12-28T05:06:00.001+08:00

me looking typically asian

photoboothing my days now that i'm lazy to take my 500D out on walks hahaha

very happy with my galaxy nails hehehe
nicole stayed over one day and we decided to paint our nails
it was the first sleepover that i actually painted my nails
felt like a bimbo. lol

if anyone was wondering
its dark blue polish and glitter (both from the face shop)
and i tried making the glitter gradient-esque but it obviously failed.
i can't paint my nails using my left hand
poor right hand

time's 4:58 am
and i came back from cuscaden not too long ago..
this is just not me and i really need to lead a healthier lifestyle...urgh
i'm becoming so unruly

can't get to sleep
bored

list of things i want (but i dont need hahaha)

1. new aviators preferably gold rimmed raybans muahahaha
2. iphone since my blackberry is just fucked up beyond imagination and lags all the time and i can't take photos with it
3. wardrobe space so i guess i need to sell my clothes again
(by the way i just sent out all the parcels yesterday, was intending to do so before christmas but by the time i went there it was closed and they weren't open on the 24th, 25th and 26th..so yea i only just got it done yesterday truly sorry)
4. new brogues since my trusty pair from newlook is totally worn out because i overuse them
5. to watch immortals since i'm a fighting scene freak haha and since i missed them when they still aired in cinemas

oh and the ask steph video will be up by this week i promise!

money makes the world go round

i should write more often
it gets my mind back on track and i'll know for sure i'm not losing it

2011-12-26T00:56:00.003+08:00

_{_Lover}
_{With your legs numb from falling great height, I carried you on my back
- your angel weight, your halo gold, bent me into a hag.
You smothered my face with compliments until it was but dull,
you fed me with such romantic gestures ‘til I purged what made me full.
I kissed your lips one thousand times, I saw the skin begin to tear.
Your blushing swelling ruby slit remains no longer there.
We only desired to sleep as one, and so our light eyes closed
- so accustomed to darkness we found our blue eyes decomposed.
Ugly haggard beauty-stolen witches we became.
I loved you prior, I love you post and ugly we’ll remain.}

2011-12-20T04:33:00.001+08:00

ASK STEPH A QUESTION

COMMENT BELOW (NOT MY FORMSPRING) WITH ANY BURNING QUESTIONS (ANONYMOUS OR NOT BOTH ARE FINE) AND I SHALL ANSWER THEM IN A VIDEO HAHAHAHA

ok guys this is a for fun thing but i'm seriously doing it! I think its gonna be fun heh and it's also gonna save me from boredom at 4.34 in the morning why am i up this late again lol

peace out homedawgz

2011-12-18T04:55:00.004+08:00

It is 4.33am in the morning and i am feeling drowsy. Some would say i am under the influence of too much CnH2n+1-OH. I am typing on my keyboard furiously as i backspace and edit all the unintentional mistakes i am making due to my jaded state. I feel weary and tired, but i also feel a strange outburst of energy.

I am not complete.

I am not contented with my life and where it is going.

4.37am

It is 3 minutes past my first words formulated on this blank white space known as "edit HTML"

I still do not know or comprehend where this writing will lead me.

My dearest malaysian boy has stayed up till 437 to await my skype call. This assuages me. I love him more than anything else (apart from my parents hahahahahah okay maybe i love them equally)

4.40am

I am thinking of the world

The world. Unscrupulous. Demanding. A vicious cycle. An endless repitition. There is no give and take here. There is only take, and take further. Take what you can and leave nothing behind. The world is cruel.

4.41am

I am starting to sober up. I still feel the tingling sensation surging through my veins. Whatever. I know what I am doing.

I had a nice chat with 2 taxi drivers earlier. One was from comfort. Another city cab.
I asked the driver, "How is business now that they raised the prices"
He merely replied, with little emotion in his cracked voice "not good"

My heart was filled with compassion for him. I expressed contempt at the decision of the "higher-up's". What right did they have to suddenly increase prices? If it was for the good of the people then so be it. But the people that are suffering are not them, not the people that callously implement stupid reforms for their own benefits. The people that are suffering are the labourers that pave the foundation for our own country!

People are filled with such greed.

But who am I to talk? I am but a mere girl. With such ambitions that I will only dream of achieving.

4.49 am

This post ends here

My skype is just filled with the sounds of furious typing

What if the hearts of men remained pure? What if the curiousity of Pandora did not implore her to open that box? What if the pleas of the desperate and helpless were heard? What if...?

4.51am

My mind is constantly full of questions that can never be answered, and full of short outbursts of light that will never meet the infinite and lurid darkness of the world.

4.55am

I am completely sober now and I am contemplating whether to publish this post or not. I guess it is the former.

mini selling post + unsold stuff with price revised

2011-12-16T00:24:00.003+08:00

Eyelet shorts
fits a uk 6 to uk 8
$15

H&M sundress

been having this thing for sundresses harharharhar looks really nice with flats

$8

F21 cross connector ring

$5

polka dotted blouse
$19

pending

acid washed shorts
fits a uk 6-8

$16

pending

NON NEGO
NO TRADES
STRICTLY POSTAGE ONLY

AND NO DEADBUYERS OR PEOPLE THAT NEED THEIR MOMS TO TRANSFER MONEY

2011-12-11T04:05:00.000+08:00

HAHAHHHAHHAAHA

my mom is SO EXTRA HERE HAHAHA

wtf my hairline looks disgusting here

USS with mr malaysia and the family on wednesday
hehehe this blog is becoming so happy

happy first + a few days (now that this post is overdue) my kampong gay boy :)

random

2011-12-08T02:44:00.001+08:00

it has always irked me when people spell "sheep" as "sheeps", or "stuff" as "stuffs" etc

after i rinse off the soap in my shower i like to stand there in silence as the gravitational force of 9.81 newtons push little droplets of water down my body

it amazes me how i make it an effort to bathe in 10 minutes to save the earth

random

2011-12-07T00:26:00.000+08:00

my tumblr

2011-12-05T18:05:00.001+08:00

SAY HI TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

SOOOOO CUUUUTEEEE muacks i love you

mini selling post

2011-12-01T23:06:00.010+08:00

Mini selling post

#1
self cut

$12

pending

#2

$10

#3
by edc

$15

#4
brand new

$12

#5

$15

#6
by dorothy perkins
bought oversized for it to be drapey as hell haha
bnwt

$25

#7
muscle tank by topshop
brand new

$19
sold

#8

$16
sold

#9

$5

#10
sorry i never iron lol
pussybow top
brand new

$14
sold

#11

$6

#12
ruffles romper
brand new

$15

#13
by topshop
contemplating or selling or not...

sold

can the girl that xferred me 12.90 the other time wrongly text me again? i lost your number! and along with it the account number -_____-

thanks!!

comment or mail me at pokemongirl123@live.com
for fast deals email me with your number i'll text you back immediately

the power of technology ^.^

if anyone deadbuys me.......
im gonna blacklist u forever

2011-11-29T03:21:00.001+08:00

because i haven't had a picture spam in VERY LONG....
brace yourselves lads!

ACStacy party on thursday

LOL AT WALTER

Tessa's 17th birthday at Night and Day
i love this stupid bitch called tessa chai so much we relate to each other like crazy we're like twins in our mind seriously
we talk the same and we think the same HAHAHA

i hope you enjoyed yourself bitch <3

got a hoegarden at night and day and then proceeded to head out to buy amsterdam maximator and drink it SHOTGUN STYLE. never doing it again though i almost vomitted and it sucks chugging down beer

but well a tip to anyone that wants to get high cheap and fast, shotgun is the way for you

t'was a good night anyway, although i went home high and fell down my staircase and knocked into my own door

my dear liver............

a random date with my girls from pl hehehe
i miss the both of them so much

we wanted to try out some cafe at mandarin gallery but they were full :(
proceeded to marche for our lunch cum dinner hahahah

have i mentioned how much i love bread. like, i cannot live without bread
the 80 cents bread at marches is AMAZING!!!!!! dip it in their mushroom soup (TOTAL RIP OFF by the way- 6 bucks for soup??????)

AC BAKING CLUB!!!!!!!!!!
went over to alison's house to bake an oreo cheese cake along with vic and tammie
we wound up taking tons of photos of ourselves HAHA we look so silly

stupid zhengyong will be away for HOCKEY CAMP for 3 days
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW DO I SURVIVE

TO ALL HATERS

2011-11-25T17:26:00.002+08:00

&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;

oh god guys my mom watched my vlog AHHAHAHAAHAH so i gotta take it down

no worries i'll upload it somewhere again after she simmers down HAHA
should i start a youtube channel........

hmm thoughts

2011-11-16T02:47:00.001+08:00

no make up vs make up

my life has been revolving around this stupid boy
this stupid boy that has to live in malaysia
i guess i can consider myself to be in a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP HAHAHAHHHA trolololol

gonna start studying soon
life's good

missin u

2011-11-12T11:19:00.001+08:00

i seem to have lost my blogging momentum (momentum = mass x velocity)
nothing really interests me much these days

i think everything we go through is a phase
everyone has to go through all these phases, but some undergo it faster than the rest
i'm at the stage where i don't really feel like appearing anywhere anymore

i just lost my train of thoughts and all traces of thinking that this post would be a good one has come to naught
lol

okay bye
gonna bake in a bit with my mom this lovely saturday morning and stick my head under her armpit and weep

The book of disquiet

2011-11-07T22:10:00.002+08:00

we can feel life in the same way we experience nausea; the existence of a person's soul can be like an aching muscle. even when it's far off, the sharply felt desolation of the spirit produces vertigo and inflicts pain on the body by delegation.

i am conscious of myself on a day when the pain of being self aware is, as the poet says:

languor, vertigo
and anguished toil

to do something, that's real intelligence. i could be whatever i wanted, but i have to want whatever it is. success resides in being successful, and not in having the conditions for achieving success. any large plot of ground could be the site of a palace, but where would the place be if someone didn't build it there?

2011-11-05T11:49:00.001+08:00

2011-11-01T00:32:00.002+08:00

I just want people to see me from the inside. People judge too fucking much. Too skinny too fat too smart too stupid too tall too short too pretty too ugly. Fuck everything and just live

fear is the heart of love

2011-10-30T21:08:00.004+08:00

forcing you to play neopets with me

after my successful jog that made me sweat like a pig

love of mine
someday you will die
but i'll be close behind
i'll follow you into the dark

---

presently, i'm quite content with my lifestyle
i've been having less late nights
and i've also been spending more time with my family
i've also been jogging once every two days (yes finally, all my friends are saluting me for this because everyone knows i absolutely hate exercising because i hate the sun and i hate sweating which is why i jog in the evening hahahahahhaha)
i've also been eating healthier food
i really need to shed some pounds i hope i get my period soon

things i have left to do:
- clear up my room (which i did clean it up over a span of 3 weeks ago but now it looks like Hurricane Katrina swept through it, i feel like i'm living in a pig sty)
- mail out parcels
- do my remaining tutorials and tuition homework
- start chemistry tuition again
- maintain my healthy lifestyle

bear with me for a moment because this is going to be a rather lengthy post (i havent had one of these in quite a while now- posts with picture and word content haha)

today i spent some time with the family
we were supposed to go to the art science museum at mbs, i was quite excited
unfortunately when we arrived it was closed due to some private event
i was quite disappointed hahahah
i really wanted to check out salvador dali's dance of time thing there

we wound up walking around mbs and i took a couple of shots but im kinda lazy to post them up so i guess i'll just upload them another time

anyway here are some pictures of the party at anchorage on friday
had a good time with good company i guess

i was... supposed to be a donkey lol

gotta go!

2011-10-27T21:41:00.002+08:00

my baby panda

took the liberty to finally jog today
jogged about 2km + -, ok thats quite little but whatever i hate to exercise
this is the first time i'm jogging on my own accord in almost 6 years lol
i feel so healthy

anyway
halloween is coming
tessa and i bought the same dress (it looked halloween-esque)
so we intended to buy cat and mouse ears (and tails maybe) and then wear it to the party then we can chase each other around when we're drunk or something

then i got lazy to buy ears so i just told her we should go as marykate and ashley
and i'll be ashley since marykate is anorexic and i'm obviously the opposite of anorexic

ok lol that was just the joke of the day

i'm gonna start studying again i guess....soon
hopefully my determination to shed some weight won't stop here. i have about 100km more to cover har har har har har har de har

shall jog again tomorrow
in the evening, of course
i actually do enjoy basking in the peace and tranquility of the night whilst running about my estate in short stuttered breaths
and how no one's there to laugh at me while i give up my jogging pace and end up walking almost a quarter the time lol
i actually can't wait to jog tomorrow

gotta go!

2011-10-23T15:53:00.001+08:00

more or less been my life for the past week

fucked up my promos hahahhahahahaa whatever i'll make sure i rise above the ashes next year
i don't deserve a damn break

I wanna care for you when you are all alone
Sit inside our house and unplug all our phones
Watchin raindrops stream down on our windowsill
Let's be in love

graaaaabbbb baaaaggggssss

2011-10-20T12:59:00.005+08:00

Hi guys..

my wardrobe is bursting and i need to clear my room very very very very very badly

so please please PLEASE help me
i can't think of any other way to clear my room fast

so i'm going to have some grab bags up for sale!!!!!

I'll randomly pick 2-3 things depending on size (tops/bottoms/rompers/cardigans/outerwears/dresses/rings/necklaces/sunglasses/wallets/shoes/makeup (makeup will be brand new/ untouched hahahha) )
ANYTHING YOU SEE ABOVE

items may be from topshop/ f21/ newlook/ supre/ french connection/ fox/ monki ok some are brandless but they still look freaking beautiful!!!!!
i even have some brand new stuff in here WITH TAGS ON LOL

SO PLEASE HELP ME GUYS

ONE GRAB BAG IS $39
so if you do the math....
one item is

$13

I am making a huge loss here!!!!!
HELP ME CLEAN UP MY ROOM AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER

comment here or email me at

pokemongirl123@live.com

mail me with your size and shoe size!!!

im only putting around 15 grab bags up for sale because i don't think i have that many clothes HAHA and i don't wanna go around naked i mean i still need to dress up and all AHHAHAHA

come on ladies your grab bags await you

(FOR CLARIFICATION: you cannot choose what you want!!!! the random selection is all for the fun of it and it makes everything fair for others)

LOVE
STEPH

what i've been up to

2011-10-17T22:15:00.001+08:00

to all my readers:

i am very sorry for the lack of updates!
Life has been quite busy (okay and quite a bore)

making up for the lag of pictures with a long ass post with tons of pictures

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i need to make this into a GIF seriously

POOR JAMES- every boy on the field that saw james decided to add on to the taupok lol

Aftermath= tau gua HAHAHHAHAHA sorry but i find it funny

so there you have it
a typical birthday ragging at ACJC
(more reason for all the o level kids to come here its so fun here)

Happy 17th birthday james! I hope you enjoyed your clean birthday

forever a cam whore

pardon my disgusting hive-y legs here but i was taking pix of my sleeping panda

did you know?
the only thing in the world that loves you more than itself is a dog
my dog is probably the only thing i love in this world right now

2011-10-11T16:05:00.001+08:00

latest addition to my black shoe collection/ trying out my new mascara

Impromptu decision to attend aris' pre halloween party
wouldve been extremely fun if police didn't come so early
nevertheless a good night with good company <3

lazy to type further
bye off to another chalet

2011-10-09T03:21:00.001+08:00

to do:

~~grey nail polish~~
update selling post
clean up my room
organize my clothes
buy clothes for panda
earn some money
lead a healthier lifestyle
enjoy two weeks before i start tuition again

spent close to 400 bucks off my savings in a month. fuck.
i need to earn money soon......
updating my selling post tmr guys i'll probably organize it better now that promos r over

will update this space w more pix soon ;)

the great dictator

2011-10-07T18:26:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness — not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another.
In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.
The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood, for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world — millions of despairing men, women and little children — victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say — do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed — the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people and so long as men die, liberty will never perish.
Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes — men who despise you — enslave you — who regiment your lives — tell you what to do — what to think or what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men — machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate! Only the unloved hate — the unloved and the unnatural!
Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the 17th Chapter of St. Luke it is written: "the Kingdom of God is within man" — not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people have the power — the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.
Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth the future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfill their promise; they never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people! Now, let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.
Soldiers! In the name of democracy, let us all unite!

Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up, Hannah. The clouds are lifting. The sun is breaking through. We are coming out of the darkness into the light. We are coming into a new world, a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed and brutality. Look up, Hannah. The soul of man has been given wings, and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow — into the light of hope, into the future, the glorious future that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up.

2011-10-01T23:53:00.000+08:00

so....great
jc makes everyone gain weight FUCK

i gained 5 kilograms after almost 3 months of not weighing myself
i started on my diet right after weighing myself lol lets hope this determination stays

gonna try out this cabbage soup diet lets hope it works
i'm gonna make sure i shed at least 7kg what the fuck how could i gain so much weight and NOT REALISE

my life is just a dark abyss lol

sometimes i can look at pretty girls and feel so fucking shitty about myself
especially when my pimples start to pop out and when you gain FIVE KG
and since i'm so short i just look like some stubby tree trunk
FUCK
i hate myself so much
i hate looking at myself in the mirror lol

sometimes i can just look into the mirror and see everything i hate
and these "sometimes" are becoming increasingly regular
after promos which would end in a weeks time i'm going on a strict ass diet and i'm gonna work out for the first time this year
i'm gonna start loving exercise lol

praying that i lose 7kg

oh my god i still remember the days where i used to be what, 39 kg?
those days are LONG GONE LOL
i really didn't appreciate my body then
now i'm like some stubby short fuck omg i HATE MYSELF

MY LIFE IS OVER

2011-09-29T23:45:00.000+08:00

my warbrobe is so plain hahahaha and boring and full of basics

anyway PLEASE HELP ME LIKE THIS PAGE... https://www.facebook.com/pages/Drop-by-Drop/259312750752287
its for my project work as an a level subject and it would really help me a lot

thanks guys!

2011-09-28T10:10:00.002+08:00

taking a self-proclaimed holiday from school for 3 days to study hahaha

&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;na

nada surf you have done the smiths proud

2011-09-26T23:04:00.005+08:00

I had a rough idea of what this blog post would be like- i had a sudden urge to write my thoughts down in words as i was on the way home
i actually rushed home to type this before i lost my train of thoughts

people undermine my feelings because they assume i will be okay with everything
like "oh she's always so cheerful and joyful you hardly see her upset"
sometimes people forget i exist even, like my opinion doesn't even matter anymore
like i don't have a veto or a say in anything because "i will be okay with it"

i mean, i honestly am generally okay with most things
even if i'm not okay with it, i will be in a while, or a long while
i don't kick up a fuss if i'm not happy with anything
because thats just so damn fucking selfish

but people take that for granted sometimes and i hate that

i'm a very simple person, really
i don't ask for much
i just hate it when people do things without considering my feelings

i'm still here
hello?
i'm still a person right?
a normal homosapien with 5 senses
with strong emotions that surge into my nerves and arteries and veins every single time

but here comes the harsh truth
the things that people don't see
you see just because i appear to be so happy
it doesn't mean that sadness is not there
i guess most of the time my sadness is only momentary
but when the sadness comes, and when the darkness arrives
it probably hits me the hardest
i guess most people would say that they know how it feels when they've hit rock bottom
or when they experience a traumatic sadness that overwhelms them fully
and when they choke back tears, diaphragm expanding and contracting so vigourously they feel they can't breathe

my sadness is different
i guess i don't show it as much as some people do
but its still there, you know?
just because you don't see it doesn't mean its not there
its just like air- now you don't see air do you?

i guess to me
the feeling of disappointment comes across worse than sadness
because being disappointed, means you expected something so much more from something, or someone
and sadness is just feeling sorry for what could have been
or what you could have done right
or what you know you should have done but didn't

the saddest people in the world are those who keep in their sadness
all
to
themselves

i admire these people so much

i still exist

just in case people think im depressed or something
i'm not lol
and no i have no relationship problems whatsoever loooolll
so heres a picture of my doggy called panda

a picture of him looking like a lil gangster puppy from da hood

2011-09-25T01:17:00.001+08:00

is it possible for someone to gradually fade from being an extrovert to an introvert?
because i think its happening to me haha

i'm extremely socially awkward, and i know i've never ever been this awkward when it comes to meeting new people or acquaintances
i tend to avoid contact with people i don't really know but i really try my best to smile or strike a conversation
its like my social skills are plummeting
i'd avoid standing with a group of people that i know i cannot "not be awkward with", i'd probably move somewhere else and sit by myself and read a book or something
i've shopped by myself
i've eaten at places by myself
i've studied by myself
i've also watched a movie by myself (i guess sitting by yourself in the cinema watching a movie counts haha)
i don't know

i feel myself becoming more and more withdrawn each day and its seriously scaring me because i used to be chatty as hell lol

i guess i'm maturing (perhaps?) or maybe i'm just getting my period hahahaha

i don't know

life

2011-09-25T00:56:00.001+08:00

decipher this

at the terminus of telephone wires
amidst all connection
are two separate beings
living at two opposite ends

please don't put me on hold

2011-09-23T00:18:00.004+08:00

the emotions of happiness and sadness are separated by a thin invisible line
a thin invisible line in the form of a tightrope
all of us tread so carefully on it
however we tremble and stumble
and we become accustomed to these two emotions
these two emotions that seem to constantly intertwine
that we cannot tell how they vary anymore
and feelings of apathy
and indifference
slowly but constantly plague us

2011-09-21T22:30:00.003+08:00

circa 170911
random sweet from meiji/ louis vuitton/ moschino /random pictures of me/ pictures on jez's birthday/ a song on repeat

hang in there

2011-09-18T02:17:00.001+08:00

my saturday

i tried out smoky eyes today, i don't know if it works well for me though hahaha
i found a lot of makeup lying around in my room so i decided to put them to good use today

have i ever mentioned how much i love food
i can't stop eating lol hahaha
in fact, im eating chocolates in the comfort of my bed while typing

friday night was one well spent though
cabbing back to school from cathay just to eat free food hahahah
studying for a while then trying to climb gates
studying again
lying down on the school field at 9pm in the evening (ok not me though i was sitting for 3 seconds)

anyway before i forget...
happy birthday jez <3 i love you

life is sweet

2011-09-17T02:20:00.000+08:00

WADDUP

2011-09-17T01:20:00.000+08:00

list of movies to watch after promos:

1. memento
2. fight club
3. lotr 1, 2, 3
4. american psycho
5. on stranger tides
6. i am sam
7. the half blood prince
8. deathly hallows pt 1
9. spirited away
10. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
11. american psycho
12. the voyage of the dawn treader
13. hide and seek

ok im gonna add on to this list soon

2011-09-15T21:18:00.002+08:00

You remind me of me when I was 13, with stars in my eyes. Now I’m 17 and those stars that used to shine so bright have collapsed into black holes, gulping down all the light that they can wrap their dirty little fingers around. You need to get greedy. You need to get selfish. This world is seedy. This world is Hell, kid. No one is going to hand anything to you. They’re going to try and snatch the food right out of your hands. People can be monsters, kid. They’ll eat you up if you don’t know how to bare your fangs. They’ll rip you limb from limb if they smell blood in the water. Don’t let them get to you. Don’t even let them see you sweat or shed a tear. Don’t forget you’re still just a girl, though. Don’t let them fill your spirit with fear. It’s your soul they want. It’s your mind they’re after. Don’t let them take your heart. Don’t let them take your laughter.

im tired

2011-09-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

warmth starts to fill the zen little centre of a place i call my heart

then it spreads to your right atrium, right ventricle, pulmonary artery, lungs, left atrium, left ventricle, your aorta.........i don't know i haven't touched biology in 3 years

its been a while since i've felt so..at ease
everything is falling into place
i just got my gp common test paper back and i was so surprised i passed (it isn't very common to pass now that you're in a jc) not to mention the fact that only 8 people in my class passed......
i am satisfied and content

i am at peace with the world

i just thought that you should know

2011-09-13T00:35:00.001+08:00

paiseh must edit la i a bit shy

2011-09-12T20:19:00.000+08:00

what i wore on saturday

2011-09-09T01:29:00.000+08:00

what i wore on wednesday

Fljotavik

2011-09-07T22:35:00.003+08:00

as i was travelling home today
walking past old men and women busking or selling tissue paper or giving out flyers

you see most of them were singing songs
and it occurred to me just vaguely though
that we sing when we are happy
but are they happy when they sing?

then it came across to me how important it is to be kind

smile at a stranger
take the flyers from the people giving them out
spend the loose change you don't need on tissue paper from that grey haired woman you see outside 313
it probably won't make a difference to us, but it will to them

greet everyone
be cheerful
be polite
be kind

i smiled at a bus driver on the way to the train station just a few days back
she was a malay woman with a head scarf on
she was wearing spectacles
with so much sincerity, she gave such a sweet and wide smile in return
she said "such a sweet girl smiling there"

i probably made a difference for her that day
just like how she made a rather significant difference in mine

you see i felt this release
like a.....sort of load being pushed off
like kite strings being cut free
i don't really know how to put it into words
but it just made my day

be kind

2011-09-07T00:00:00.002+08:00

vlog 5 or 6 hahaha can't remember

2011-09-04T16:29:00.002+08:00

I went to the borders bookfair at singapore expo just yesterday (without sleeping for 36 hours straight) to get some books at dirt cheap prices!!!!
okay not dirt cheap hahahaha but they were all 50% off
so happy with my buys

honestly theres nothing better than reading a good book

just started reading skin lane yesterday, its quite interesting so far i guess
i can't wait to finish reading the rest!

i love books

some pictures of other random stuff in my room

pangea

2011-09-01T01:12:00.002+08:00

&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;how&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;

how can anyone even bear to destroy this beauty of a planet we live in
we don't actually look beyond things

this is how beautiful things can be if only everyone opened their eyes
unfold our eyes and embrace its breathtaking beauty

no words can describe how marveled i am
so many things amaze me

i love you kyte

2011-08-30T01:56:00.001+08:00

wassup dawg

life is sweet

i finally sorted out everything
priorities, thoughts, friends, work
everything

my happiness is like an exponential curve now
its slowly increasing
the long time it spent ranging close to zero
was not in vain

my grades are improving
A for chemical equilibrium, C for integration,
my WR for PW is almost complete
okay but i did miss my macroecons test.........which i have to sit for on wednesday
so i have to study for it tomorrow

let tomorrow be a productive day everyone

things to do:
be thankful
stay happy
think positive thoughts
health is wealth
breathe
be free

2011-08-28T19:51:00.002+08:00

going live on ustream in a bit guys loolololol

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/idkwhatthisislololol

2011-08-23T23:19:00.000+08:00

been going for baybeats 4 consecutive years in a row now
amazes me how good some local bands are
caracal was so good on friday
i remember watching them in 2008 as well, they just keep getting better

its gonna be an extremely hectic and busy week
i thank God for the 1 school day week next week
and the september holidays after that
even though i'll probably be studying......

promos in 40 days
sigh
i'll make it

i'm happy and content

the desiderata of happiness

2011-08-20T01:00:00.002+08:00

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

one of my favourite poems

2011-08-20T00:57:00.001+08:00

the feeling seeps in as slow as
coloured water creeping up the xylem of a plant
it can stop and linger
it can rush up fast and quick
but it will forever taint the tube with such a deep blue
just like how the feeling will stain your heart

f o r e v e r

i find it so hard to express myself sometimes
conversations ending with just a mere "i'm tired"
however
i am honestly tired
i'm tired of waiting for nothing to happen
tired of life's uncertainties
i'm just tired of the same routine

you don't know how hard it is for me to find someone interesting
because no one interests me
everyone bores me
i get bored of people
its difficult finding someone i actually relate to
its difficult finding someone i would actually want to go places with
then i found...................hahaha

fractions

2011-08-18T22:05:00.000+08:00

sometimes i can just stare into the mirror and see everything i hate
you become all the things you thought you'd never be

i want to do things and go places but i don't ever get there
its just like...treading water
you're swimming but you don't move

2011-08-17T20:14:00.002+08:00

hongkong vlog!!!!

ok guys sorry if its not what you expected its just a compiled video of the random stuff i took videos of during my stay in hongkong. and its also my first time using imovie so its quite amateur HAHAHA

and this was me like a few months back so i think i look a bit stupid also lolollololo

and the quality is so fucking shitty coz i accidentally pressed "medium" instead of like "large" when uploading on vimeo. If not it would have been in HD T.T

dermatographia

2011-08-16T13:23:00.000+08:00

was on wikipedia on "how to get rid of hives" earlier in the day- apparently i am allergic to crayfish now. I ate crayfish on sunday and the next day i started itching. I thought they were mozzie bites but i guess it was hives....

so i came across something called dermatographic urticaria
and i think its the most beautiful thing i've ever seen
i had a friend in secondary school who had dermatographia but i never knew what it was called. i thought her skin was just sensitive. its so beautiful. skin writing.

the above are the works of ariana page russell. so are the below.
enjoy
:)

life is sweet

2011-08-15T19:52:00.003+08:00

stay young go dancing

i love death cab so much
their songs give me so much hope
i'll pull through
like how i did last year

collected my o level cert today
felt a tinge of nostalgia as i walked through the hallowed hallways of plmgs haha
read through my testimonial and i was quite surprised ms oh didn't write just one sentence for me

"as a pupil in class she was independent and conscientious and put in effort to achieve her personal best. She had a proficient command of English and was able to put forth her views confidently. She required minimal supervision and sought clarification when necessary"
(of course this isn't my whole testimonial)

i think everything's exaggeration except the english bit HAHA

off to study! gotta start earning the respect of everyone again

2011-08-14T01:32:00.000+08:00

started writing in my diary again

the last entry was dated...
24th october 2010

sorted out my thoughts once and for all

i'm such a strange person

2011-08-10T05:19:00.004+08:00

1. what i wore today without makeup on
2. completing my EOM draft 2 at oc spins
3. a random saturday night
4. class sandwich outing at botanical gardens on the eve of national day

got a physics test on thursday which i once again did not study for. my days are all so unproductive. i hope i don't retain.

i should stop partying honestly lol. been having too many late nights and productivity can be equated to zero

sigh

flaws

2011-08-05T00:31:00.002+08:00

i have flaws
but i think flaws are good
no one else sees the importance of flaws
but i do

i notice every single flaw in everyone
and i think each flaw
is
beautiful

doesn't anyone else see the beauty in flaws?
with no flaws
everyone would be the same

look the same
sound the same
smell the same
feel the same
taste the same

with flaws
everyone is unique
and different

i am flawed
very flawed
but thats what makes all of us special

thoughts at 12:32 at night with school the next day
hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaa
i am a joker

off to shower and have a deep peaceful and tranquil rest

2011-08-03T01:02:00.001+08:00

i must push on
i must persevere
i must be diligent
i must be resilient
i must set my priorities

i need sleep
i need time
i need energy
i need drive
i need brains
i need help

i don't need food
i don't need facebook
i don't need formspring
i don't need drama
i don't need distractions
i don't need boys
i don't need girls
i don't need love

told my dad to drive me to school early tomorrow so i can study for my chemistry common test which i have barely studied for. Gotta get my chem equilibrium and ionic equilibrium right. I don't want to retain although i'm at a high risk of retaining sigh.

not even studying yet sigh.
where are my priorities.............

2011-07-31T14:08:00.003+08:00

just for laughs hahahaa

i don't understand why my video is fast forwarded and my voice is cut off but hahaha my maid came in halfway while i was trying to do a cover of flume by bon iver. Hence my black face at the end hahaha

anyway should i do some ustreaming...it looks rather fun hahaha but who will want to watch me LOL i'm such a boring person the only thing i can do is serenade everyone with lame songs haha

remnants

2011-07-31T02:22:00.000+08:00

the feeling sinks in again

i feel so lonely

goals

2011-07-29T01:31:00.000+08:00

people always ask me what i want to be when i grow up

honestly i never knew what to answer. when i was younger i wanted to be a doctor, now that i'm older i just think that i want to be a dentist. But honestly, i only want to do that for the money

but i don't want to do something just for the money. Life is not always about money. Life is about happiness, whether i'm happy doing something that i love, whether i love showing up at work or not. Money is only paper. I think its so sad when people ask you "why are you studying so hard?" and the reply is "to make a lot of money when i grow up" the correct answer should be "so that i can pursue my dreams"

And then i had an epiphany a few days ago.

I want to help people when i grow up. Like, not help minimally.....but help as much as i can. I get so sad and teary eyed when i read about the black bears in china...about the widening income gaps..about unfortunate children in cambodia and i really wanna extend this huge ass hug to all of them. I get very emotional when i read about people and animals that don't live in the comfort i am currently living in. Who am I to turn away from these people who need help. I want to go on mission trips. I want to help build schools in undeveloped countries. I want to raise funds for these people and help them.

Honestly, even if i don't make a lot, at least i know i'm happy. Just thinking of the smiles on these peoples faces will just warm my heart.

I never knew the extent of poverty till a few of my friends went to cambodia this year to help teach at an orphanage. I am so proud of them (even though i'm only close to one of them lol) because their trip was not school based at all. They went out of their own will. So my friend came back, and told me about their trip.

The children there have blonde hair because they're all malnourished and do not have enough food. Some of their parents try putting them in school. The school will provide them with one exercise book and one pencil. Which will last them their lifetimes.....once these kids use up the exercise book they will erase it and re use it. Some of these kids quit school because their parents can't afford to pay for another pencil. When i heard this my heart just ached. I felt so selfish and spoiled because here i am living in such comfort and i don't see how blessed i am to be here.

And then i hear about animal cruelty. About how the bears are treated. How they torture these animals for their bile. I want to save them. I want to do something to help. But I am small....i can't do anything significant enough to help

So i guess i have to just make a lot of money (lol the irony of it all) to use it to help others.

thoughts at 1.30 am with school the next day
such is life

2011-07-25T00:46:00.001+08:00

wassup peoples

2011-07-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

i got my look taken last saturday by poshism.com lol and i look pretty fucking horrible

sigh some days i just look fucking hideous like a beast from the darkness charging forward to scare little children

was quite a funny experience though because it was so awkward...thus my expressionless face...thus my hideous features...thus the ugliness of the whole thing. MY GOD i look like a blind person LOL

ok whatever i'm only uploading the pix coz these are the only 2 pix there HAHAHHAHAAHAAAAA

nevertheless poshism is quite a cool website i think you guys should check it out

www.poshism.com

ASIAN SKINS

2011-07-19T18:35:00.001+08:00

At nsrcc for tizi's 17th birthday i hope you had a great one babe!

was rather pissed off that night because some fucker stole 30 bux from my wallet......nevertheless i had a good time shoving lightsticks up my earholes LOL and shuffling to party rock anthem

somehow i feel like im in asian skins.....lololol

anyway like my dad always says...work hard and play hard

off to study now (sorry for the lack of updates guys)

P.S would anyone even care or join if i decided to do giveaways LOLOLOL

me trying on my new lipstick colours hehe

ovate

2011-07-18T13:42:00.002+08:00

BEAUTIFUL

2011-07-16T00:20:00.000+08:00

this made me feel so sad

my mom decided to let me look at my primary school worksheets for the last time before she threw them away. honestly they're worth nothing but they contain so much sentimental value. hahaha long gone are the days we scored 98 for math...and 10/10 for an english composition

10 years flew by and we're all grown up now

life moves so quickly

2011-07-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

2011-07-08T00:29:00.002+08:00

i don't even know why i'm bothering to clear myself up but since so many of you are disturbed and affected (god knows why) by what i wrote

THE UNDERLYING MESSAGE OF MY POST DATED 2ND JULY 2011 IS

i have done many things i am not proud of in my life. i have done stupid things. and it makes me sad when some people intend to follow these examples. instead of living freely they cage themselves to things they deem cool, things they see on the media- smoking/anorexia/mutilation etc. i am not claiming to have never done any of the stated before. i have, and i do not condone these actions. its just strange to see how other people actually want to follow in these footsteps. because the bad things i did then, are adversely affecting me now. if i could, i would definitely turn back time and change the way things were then. life would be much easier haha

i am not basing this on just observations because i (and most of you) know the extent of this truth

so if you think i wrote that to spite people that are "searching for an identity". i wasn't. i can't be bothered to lol. i was in fact reminiscing about my past

and hence my post

so um you may stop commenting with 1000 word essays filled with stupid remarks like "don't act like you're not referring to anyone!" or "you had a piercing last time and look like a bull so you're contradicting yourself" because i don't think you realise how stupid and childish you sound

2011-07-06T21:40:00.002+08:00

for fucks sake i am not referring to anyone in particular on my previous post

if you think i am referring to you
you're either 1) delusional 2) guilty of whatever i have written which once again proves that i am right

jesus get over it already

you are a tourist

2011-07-02T03:19:00.002+08:00

it makes me wonder sometimes

sometimes i bloghop, i do that very often to be honest
sometimes i browse through facebook profiles
and theres one thing that never fails to amuse me

the people that are younger than us think that its cool to get high and party and stay out late and club and drink and smoke. its as if they are trying their best to change their whole lifestyle to suit people they fathom "cool", like they're willing to give up their innocence to appear wild? to give people the impression they're "badass"??

i think its so fucking dumb and stupid

honestly, i'd do anything to be their age again. to be innocent again (not just be deemed, but to feel pure) you know? the child-like honesty we all used to have. it makes me sad when i see these people (whom i don't even know lol) try to be someone they're totally not. i mean i'd totally die to have that life i once had back

enjoy your youth while you still can. look i'm not saying that i'm really old or something here but we all know how much a person can change within the span of a year. why try so hard to be someone else, when all you have to be is yourself?

i dont know why there are so many things running through my mind tonight haha

weak

2011-06-29T00:26:00.002+08:00

the stillness of the night, the engulfing silence
you are weary, but awake
you are feeling restless
oh what a familiar feeling
you've been through this one too many times now that the feeling feels normal, maybe permanent
a dreary routine

exhausted mentally
drained physically
you cannot wait to close your eyes........to escape such a bleak premise

a rather failed attempt at trying to express my feelings via writing (lol)

i guess this tiredness is barely the tip of the iceberg. gotta get used to it sooner or later.
i love writing sometimes, though most of it sounds so amateur.....lol

bare

2011-06-28T00:10:00.000+08:00

barefaced. feeling rather uncomfortable in my own skin but i guess i'd rather let people see me without all the make up.

exams are tomorrow and i've never been so demoralized my whole life. Expecting 2 Us for chemistry and physics. Hopefully i get an S for both of them. An S would suffice.

Waking up at 545am to reach school at 630 tomorrow to study before my math paper........

gotta go

:)

2011-06-26T00:00:00.008+08:00

Hello steph !!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

hehe Fitri here don't ask how i got access to your blogger

anyway love you hope you'll do well for your terms!!! <3

boats and birds

2011-06-25T01:35:00.000+08:00

First attempt

don't judge me everyone :( it was like my first and only attempt i didn't even bother editing or redoing the video! i know i play the guitar funny and my voice went off haha

2011-06-23T10:27:00.003+08:00

spot the difference ;)

2011-06-20T15:52:00.002+08:00

if everyone could help me do this survey

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/SHFP6SC

it would really help my group a lot

thank you guys

comfortably numb

2011-06-19T02:23:00.001+08:00

i decided that i should just show you guys a few pictures from my hongkong trip.
i'll post more pictures some other time

thoughts

2011-06-17T00:45:00.000+08:00

was reading through all my recent posts and i'm quite shocked and appalled at how... typical my blog is becoming

its nasty and repulsive

i don't like how i'm suddenly changing myself to suit the interests of others.......there are more pictures of my clothes/ the stuff i wear/ my face/ my hair instead of the places i go/ my friends/ my family/ stuff that interest me/ people that interest me

i don't want to be just like the rest i'm sorry guys i don't think my blog's gonna be very interesting anymore. In fact i don't know how it was interesting with pictures of only my face!!! And my vlogs....

ack i don't know what happened. I haven't had a proper post in very long, my writing skills are so poor now. I used to write about everything and anything on my mind and now all i do are posting pictures of myself on photobooth

On a lighter note

today i had cip with my class. Words cannot express how irritated i was with the children. I hate kids. I hate/ abhor/ detest/ shun irritating pre-pubescent vile and obnoxious little kids that range from the age of 10-12. Listening to their pointless and annoying screams and taking in all their incessant whining and tantrums drove me up the fucking wall.

However

looking at them so carefree, not a thing on their mind (not even homework haha), so happy, their genuine smiles, their vibrant eyes full of curiosity and life, vigour and exuberance. i kinda missed that feeling. come to think of it, we all used to be like them. Our own bodies that once possessed that very same curiosity, life and vigour. We were all once like them. How i long for that feeling once more.

I guess life fucks us all up right? As we grow older, we get sadder, and the days start getting shorter and the nights start getting longer and we start wondering what on earth are we even here for.

I miss being a kid

This stupid nostalgia thing is really so lame but i couldn't help notice the void in me that the kids i "took care" of today did not have.

Happiness........does it even exist anymore or is it just another meaningless word in the dictionary?

Oh, on another lighter note, on the plane yesterday i was listening to radiohead (Yes, i have no fucking idea why krisworld is playing latest radiohead album, i remember they had the decemberists and sia and the cure as well but fuck it lol) their new album is amazing. just as all their other albums have been. i love radiohead

goodbye

2011-06-14T16:50:00.000+08:00

Currently in Hong Kong!!! Will be back with a haul vlog of my goodies from hongkong

Stuff here aren't exactly very cheap in my opinion. The prices range from about 20-30??? And if you don't convert well enough you'll be at the losing end hahaha. I bought these amazing pair of flatforms by b + ab though. I was intending to buy jeffrey campbells but they were too expensive :((((( about 1100 HKD= almost 200 SGD. The flatforms were about 600 HKD hahaha do the calculation yourself! I tried to take a lot of pictures but on many occasions i ended up forgetting/being too lazy to take my dslr out of the hotel room.

O yeah i'll totally rant about my hotel another time. And how polluted the air is here. WATCH THIS SPACE FOR VLOG 5!!!!!!! (Or my haul vid lololololollolol)

I'm coming back home tomorrow i can't wait to see my friends again. I brought my worksheets to study here but i didn't touch em at all.

Oh i'm supposed to find jordan at mongkok right now but my dad said no its too dangerous so whatever i'm all cooped up at my uncle's house and its sooooo borrrrinnnnngggg

kkk goodbye i think i will explore central later and visit the 4 storey high H&M *_* *_* *_* *_*

2011-06-06T12:24:00.000+08:00

My take on X-men

alison

2011-06-03T00:36:00.000+08:00

love this bitch so much :')
<3

2011-06-02T02:25:00.001+08:00

what i wore today

did my third vlog rather hastily today! pardon the number of "likes" and "whatevers"
gotta go sleep now im going jogging in the mornin :)

toodles

2011-05-31T21:23:00.003+08:00

Have you been embracing this wonderful year?
Great news for the fashion obsessed! It’s about time to revive your wardrobe!
Brace yourself for the overwhelming loots you are about to uncover, all at dirt cheap prices too! There’s too many goodies for your eyes to feast on!But it’s alright, because June is all about pampering yourself! It’s time to give yourself a pat on the back for mugging/working so hard for the past 6 months!
We say: YOU DESERVE IT!

Whoever says money can’t buy happiness simply doesn’t know where to shop!
So now I’m telling you! Mark your calendars my lovely friends, it’s a date with Hooked On Flea!
Yes you’re right! We’d love to invite you, (bring along ALL your friends!)& head down to se7en at Iluma, on the 4th & 25th June for some retail therapy goodness!
See you there!

EVENT DETAILS
Location: Se7en(#07-03 Iluma shopping centre ) – beside bugis junction201 Victoria Street
Bugis, Singapore 188067
Date: 4th and 25th June 2011 (Saturdays)
Time: 1pm – 7pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ADVERTISING AND PROMOTION EFFORTS
Pre-event and on-ground promotion:
– EDM blast to our database of 15,000
– Event invitations up to 13,500
– 1400 SMS blast

- Word of mouth/PR efforts: Facebook, Cozycot, Sgflea, Flowerpod, and
other social media platforms.
For more information: http://www.hookedonflea.wordpress.com/

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

REGISTRATION FOR VENDORS

PRICE: $50 for 1 day

* Membership holders get 5% off from the price above.
LOGISTICS PROVIDED:
• 60cm by 60cm round table/cubes + single tier rack SPACE (1.3m (length) x
1.5m (height) )
• May opt 2x rack spaces without table

TO REGISTER:

Email: booking@freemansland.com with the following details:
Subject: (Date/s) June 2011 in Se7en
Name:
E-mail:
Contact no:
No.of stall:
Dates:
Blog/Shop Url:

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Can’t wait to see you there!
DIRECTIONS:
• Se7en is located at #07-03 Iluma shopping centre ) – beside bugis junction
201 Victoria Street
• Nearest MRT: Bugis MRT (2min walk)
• From Bugis Mrt, turn right and take escalator up, walk straight and you’d see Topshop. Turn right, and cross the traffic lights to get to Bugis Junction. Beside Bugis Junction would be the shopping centre – Iluma. Take the lift up to the 7th storey and you’d be able to see Se7en!

Hey girls!!! I, along with a few of my other friends (that have some pretty awesome clothes) will be setting up a booth at hooked on flea THIS SATURDAY!! I will be selling all the stuff that i haven't got to sell yet at much cheaper prices at the flea:) Think topshop/newlook/f21/h81 and other blogshop stuff

Don't miss it!! :)

study break

2011-05-29T21:57:00.001+08:00

happy 19th birthday jasper :)
these were taken on friday.

we have been friends for almost 3 years now and its amazing that we've grown so much and still haven't drifted. I hope we never drift apart :') guys i can't believe we've been going out EVERY saturday till a saturday without you guys feels so weird. We study together play together party together we do everything together. Spending last friday at marina barrage for the 3rd time in 3 consecutive years was just so heartwarming. I hope we stay friends forever I love you guys. <3

am so thankful i found a group of friends that i can trust and always rely on.

nicole, wailing, jezrika, tatjna, cassandra, brenda, bao er, fitri: we see our boyfriends/ girlfriends (hahaha) joining us momentarily then leaving us...but we're still here and will be here forever :') i love each and every single one of you guys muacks so glad i have you guys

what i wore yesterday. am currently waiting for isabella lim to upload pictures on facebook so i can steal them and upload them here haha

lately ive been on a MAD shopping spree. Contemplating posting up all my buys....hmm

ANYWAY

I HAVE UPDATED SHOPMODERNISM101 WITH MORE STUFF PLEASE SUPPORT ME

2011-05-26T23:51:00.000+08:00

&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;ejej

wanna learn this

reality

2011-05-24T20:39:00.000+08:00

i know i'm not fat
but i am unhappy with my body

i know i'm not ugly
but i don't think i'm pretty

i know i'm not stupid
but i don't think i'm intelligent

i know i'm not poor
but i also know i am not rich

i know i'm lucky
but i don't think i am lucky enough

gets you thinking right?

let it be

2011-05-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

just found my dad's stash of records hidden away in one of the unused rooms in my house. i was so excited when i saw them all- the beatles, the carpenters, pink floyd etc etc where can you find things like these nowadays.

i must say my dad had some pretty impressive taste in music. now if only i could listen to the records....my dad has a record player (whatever you call it) but i doubt its working anymore. my house is full of priceless things, for example my tv right beside my bed that i always took for granted lol. its supposed to be this limited edition phillips tv thats super old till it isnt even working anymore...but i did watch world cup spain vs germany on it last year haha- just recently i went with my class to the national museum... and lo and behold! i saw my beloved tv set on display. hahahaa absolutely priceless

gotta start hunting for more priceless junk in my house

2011-05-22T03:03:00.000+08:00

&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;just

just got transported into another fucking dimension. i love you deftones.